Sex In The Driveway Drink

By Steve Kilcullen Jump to Recipe

Sex in the Driveway. Is it a dangerous hobby? A band name? Or a deliciously naughty cocktail…

It was getting late, and each day was darkening quicker than the last. Summer was gone, and the wind began to add that tiny sliver of ice, just enough to cut through your sweater as the sun disappeared. The seasons marched forward, no matter how badly you missed the one that was leaving. You know you’ll see them again in a year, but at that moment it might as well be an eternity.

The nerds were all gathered in the living room of the house they shared. An almighty argument was taking place, and at the center of it was their television. Some wanted to watch Star Trek, others Babylon 5. A few proudly voiced their votes for Stargate Universe and/or Farscape. Some suggested Doctor Who, Tom Baker’s era specifically, to find common ground. One lone voice called for Blake’s 7.

As the geekpocalyptic row continued, the front door dramatically swung open. Lightning crashed outside, briefly filling everyone’s vision with a quick series of blinding flashes. A silhouette stood in the doorway, then wobbled inside, slamming the door closed behind them. The nerds in the room were terrified until they realized that it was just their housemate, Rutiger.

With his medically prescribed eyeglass frames all askew and his pocket protector sitting backwards, the rest of Rutiger’s friends could only assume what happened. So they asked outright.

With a dreamy, faraway look, their pal simply said, “Sex in the Driveway”.

The room became so quiet it could put the vacuum of space to shame. Somebody in the back trembled and uttered a hushed “whoa” while the others stared at Rutiger in awe. Finally, a hand was raised and the earnest face that sat under it couldn’t wait to have their question answered.

“What’s it like?!” Everyone in the room nodded and grunted in earnest agreement. They must know. And they must know now.

“Well,” Rutiger started, with a thoughtful chin scratch. “You begin with a lotta ice…”

Everyone let out a long “oooooh”, with one nerd exclaiming “start with the cold, then bring the heat, that’s hot!” Hands were being rubbed together as minds raced at a delirious pace. Rutiger continued.

“It did finish with some heat, and a nice bite…” A thud was heard as one of the nerds fainted. The rest leaned in, their brows beading with sweat. The story went on.

“The fizziness from the lemon-lime soda made it easy to drink. I think mine had Sprite instead of 7 Up, because I can always tell the difference, but anyway. It was great, because it totally loosened me up and I ended up having intercourse, so I’m pretty tired. G’night!”

And with that, Rutiger shambled upstairs and called it a day. The rest of the nerds stood frozen, staring up after their friend with jaws wide open. When the morning came and Rutiger sleepily went down to the kitchen for some Fruity Pebbles, they were still in the same position.

What is the Best Schnapps to Use in a Sex in the Driveway?

Peach schnapps is the “active” ingredient in this riff on the Sex On the Beach cocktail. DeKuyper Peachtree is a classic brand, and will always mix up nicely in any of the cocktails that may require it. It’s also pretty easily available.

What glassware is used?

A tall highball glass filled with ice is a great way to serve this drink. The slender shape will keep your ice cubes from melting too quickly.

What else can be used instead of lemon-lime soda?

You can use club soda for a lighter tipple, or sparkling wine for a boozier one.

Similar Cocktails to the Sex in the Driveway

Like your drinks to have naughty names? There are a few delicious drams out there with the cheekiness to match. If you’re on the prowl but afraid to ask for some of these drinks by name, let Twist & Toast shine a light on some risqué recipes you can make at home.

• Sex on the Beach – Cranberry and orange juice get frisky with some vodka and peach schnapps.
• Sex with an Alligator – This layered and complex-looking drink has a satisfying bite.
• Slippery Nipple – A smooth shot of sambuca, grenadine and Irish cream liqueur.
• Blowjob – A shot that’s a lot of fun to ask for by name at the bar.