Moose Milk

By Steve Kilcullen Jump to Recipe

Make yourself a Moose Milk or two for a creamy, indulgent and boozy treat.

The kick to my ribs and face had been hard. One moment, my task was about to be complete. The next, it felt as though the Moon had come out of the sky and whanged into me at full force. I only fully became aware of what had happened halfway down the side of a mountain. After falling and tumbling forever like a rag doll, kicking up loose stones and branches in my wake, I mercifully skidded to a stop as I literally rolled into town.

Being blessed with a hard head, I shook the pain away and checked to see if I had any broken bones or missing teeth. Thankfully, only a few. Better than most adventures that I’ve had, I must admit. As I rolled over and shoved myself back onto my feet, one of the old-timers from this little woodsy hamlet approached, concern on their face. I was asked just what in tarnation I was a-doin’, and why in the heck I was a-doin’ it.

I recounted the tale of my quest for some moose milk, which is said to have delicious, relaxing and—in large quantities—intoxicating results. When I happened upon one of the animals, they responded none too kindly to my attempt at procuring said milk.

The old-timer’s face scrunched up in severe disapproval as they pointed over to the local saloon. “You can just order a Moose Milk at the bar, genius. Ice cream, vodka, rum and other some such is in it, you can’t get that by running up on Bullwinkle.”

I slowly sauntered over toward the saloon, a tad embarrassed. From behind, the old-timer called after me. “What kinda idiot tries to milk an actual moose?!”

Indeed.

What Is The Best Alcohol To Use In A Moose Milk?

This recipe features a robust and sweet combination of vodka, rum, coffee and Irish cream liqueurs. If you’re an armchair mixologist like I am, you probably have some of these already. If you’ve chosen the Moose Milk as your first foray into the world of cocktails, well, it’s an interesting choice. Grab some Kahlúa, Baileys, some Smirnoff and a dark, robust rum like a high-proof Kraken. The spiced, sweet notes from these ingredients will meld harmoniously with the ice cream and milk, creating a dessert-like flavor with a nice bite.

FAQs & Tips

WHAT GLASSWARE AND GARNISH ARE USED?

Grab a few rocks glasses when you’re ready to pour and drink some Moose Milk. Garnish with a light sprinkle of nutmeg and pop a straw or two in to start sipping with.

CAN YOU STORE MOOSE MILK?

Yes. Once your mixture is prepped and ready, you can drink it right away or store it covered in your fridge for a few hours before serving. Keep any leftovers refrigerated for up to 2 or 3 days.

HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN A MOOSE MILK?

This soft and smooth tipple is a decadent 384 calories per glass.

WHAT IS THE BEST ICE CREAM TO USE?

My favorite is Ben & Jerry’s. While they’re renowned for fun, creative and delicious combinations of flavors with clever names, like Cherry Garcia, they also offer a simple and brilliant-tasting vanilla ice cream.

Other Ice Cream Cocktails Worth Trying

Imagine an ice cream truck for grown-ups, rolling through the neighborhood during the dog days of summer, playing goofy earworms over the loudspeakers while serving up some boozy and cold ice cream treats. As awesome as this sounds, it would also probably be highly illegal, so why don’t we play it safe and make some of these dessert-like libations at home?

• Alcoholic Root Beer Float – Just saying this drink’s name out loud makes my mouth water.
• Brandy Alexander with Ice Cream – A scoop of vanilla makes this already tasty tipple even more enticing.
• Pudding Shots – You loved pudding as a kid, now fall head over heels again.
• Sgroppino – Sorbet, vodka and prosecco make a delightful combination.